


It Makes an Ass of You and Me

by asimplewalk



Series: Prompt Jar [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, weird food loving weirdos being weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asimplewalk/pseuds/asimplewalk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When morning comes, Darcy makes a critical mistake. Luckily, Bucky knows the real way to her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Makes an Ass of You and Me

**Author's Note:**

> For that Anon that prompted me with "DarcyxBucky morning after breakfast!" over on [tumblr](http://www.crownsandashes.tumblr.com) Thanks, you absolute babe. <3
> 
> Unbeta'd shmoop. With strange food combinations and vague plot.

Darcy really doesn’t have a history of one night stands. And, from what she knew about history, and about the man that she had been with the night before, she would have assumed that he was much the same. The problem with that assumption, however, was that well.

“To assume makes an ass of you and me,” as her father would say. 

And really, she wanted to kill a certain army sergeant named James Barnes. Darcy curled into the small, vaguely warm spot where he’d been at some point, buried her face into the pillow that had been under him, and fought down every urge to sniffle and cry. Focused on the murderous rage that was welling up in the place in her gut she’d felt a very different sensation the night before. She counted to three hundred, uncurled, and stood to pull on a ratty old hoodie that she’d hacked the hood and collar off of and a pair of boy shorts and yesterday’s knee high socks.

She was standing in the kitchen of her tiny, dingy apartment waiting on the coffee pot to finish filling when the door opened. Her head snapped to the side and she immediately reached for the butcher’s block. She didn’t retract her hand from where it had settled around the handle of her fillet knife when she realized it was the man she was mad at.

“Whoa, pretty girl, something wrong?” His brow furrowed and he toed out of his boots before fully coming into her view. He was holding one of her canvas grocery bags, and looked like he’d gone out to get food.

“What the fuck is going on?” Darcy might have assumed. And now she felt like an ass, because that confusion had grown to worry, and as he set the bag down to pull her into him, she realized that he’d not walked out. That she hadn’t done something wrong, that he wasn’t a love-and-leave type. He’d gone out for things to make breakfast. 

“I swear if you thought I’d ditched you after last night, sweetheart, you’re gonna be real sore to know that I went and got you bacon instead.” He chuckled and pressed a kiss against her temple. 

“My dad was right, oh God why.” She giggled against his sternum, “Okay, unreasonable anger forgotten. What is this about bacon?”

“I don’t know, Darce, if you’re gonna be upset with me, I don’t think you deserve bacon.” He teased, before turning her whine into shrieking giggles by tickling her sides. “Go shower, but you can wear this all day after if you want. Looks wonderful on ya.” He pulls back and plays with the hole in the top of the pull-over’s pocket. The middle of the frayed edges is held together with a safety pin.

“You gonna make bacon anyway?” When he laughs and nods, Darcy stands on her toes to press a kiss against his chin. “Thank you Bucky!” She messes up his hair as she dashes back to her bathroom.  
When she comes back in, hair mostly blow-dried and braided back, wearing the same thing, with the addition of clean socks and the shortest cutoff jeans in her ownership, and a bra (her rack is too big to be left uncontrolled), Bucky is setting glasses of milk on the table next to plates of food that smell absolutely amazing.

“I thought they boiled everything in your day, old man. What’s with you having mad chef skills?” She accepts being pulled into his space and tenderly kissed.

“I am gonna kick Steve’s ass into the sun.” The two sat and she immediately took a bite of the fluffy scrambled eggs. When she hums happily over them, he beams. “Was something that I didn’t get a whole lot of practice with back then, but I could cook. Have a lot of fun with it now, though. Nice to have a hot meal that doesn’t taste like flour and plaster and salt whenever I want.”

“And you’re not going to ever get fat because of all that time you spend working out.” She points her fork at him, takes a tone of someone highly insulted.

“Oh, trust me, I try. You should have seen me after the discovery of Nutella. Try it on Cheese-Its sometime.” Bucky takes a casual bite of his own scrambled eggs, smothered in a mound of melted cheese and dusted with pepper. 

“I am making you eat a dozen lava cakes on camera and ransom the video for donations to charity.” Bucky eyes her, knows that she’s got a history of doing things like that to create good PR to cover up some goof that the Avengers she studiously manages happen to make.

“I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I?” He frowns at the woman and she just grins back, brightly. 

“Do it for the children!” She pauses and then frowns, “Okay, maybe it’ll not be JDRF that this one’s for. Would be counter-intuitive.” He shrugs and props the toes of her feet against the edge of the chair between his legs. “So, other than this amazing breakfast, what were your plans for the day?”

“Was gonna suggest lazing around, but I think I want to do something today. Any ideas, doll?” He’s using his fork to pile the last of his eggs onto a corner of his toast (generously smothered in peanut butter).

She takes a moment to turn her own toast, smothered in strawberry preserves, into a sandwich with her bacon in the middle. Thinks it over. “Well, it’s a nice day out. Why don’t we go cause a stir at Coney Island?” 

“If you try to pussyfoot outta getting on the rides with me, I’m gonna be real sad. Might even not win you a stuffed animal.” He gives her big puppy eyes before finishing his drink.

“Oh, no. I grew up thrill seeking. Was the first to jump when we went cliff diving on a family vacation.” Darcy steals the last piece of bacon that he’s seemed to forget on the edge of his plate.

Bucky’s only response is to groan and set his forehead on the table, “It’s gonna be like Steve again, but with more sex and boobs.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, anon. <3  
> But like, seriously, try nutella on cheese-its, even the offbrand ones. It has no right to be that good.


End file.
